A state school teacher was arrested yesterday at Manchester International Airport terminal one as he attempted to board a flight to USA. He was in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule, and a calculator. At the afternoon press conference, the Chief Constable said he believes the man is a member of the notorious 'Al-Gebra' movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the police with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
'Al-Gebra is a problem for us', the Chief Constable said. 'They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes they go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'X' and 'Y' and they refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country.'
As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'.
When asked to comment on the arrest, Prime Minister George Brown said, 'If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes..' Parliamentarian aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the Prime Minister. Geoff Hoon said simultaneously that that George Brown was not a good equation for a Prime Minister and the Labour Party needed to have a secret ballot to nominate a new X or Y to sit as Prime minister until May 6th. This is the undisclosed date of the next election that is determined by the Al Gebra movement.
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